I've been in Houston now for nearly a month, extending what was supposed to be a week's break into a house-bound eternity. Since I've been here, I've spent most of my time in bed, feeling miserable, looking out the window from time to time to see the outside world I'm missing.
What has happened to the Adventure Hobo? The Plague? A toothache? A terrible bout of ennui? Nope. Far more serious. In a recent email, we reported the news to our loved ones:

Dear friends and family:




We are thrilled to announce
We have a baby on the way!

We expect our bundle of joy
June 24, 2011



Please keep your ears open for further updates, and an invitation to the reception!

We have created a Baby Registry at Amazon.com. You can find it anytime by searching for my name at http://www.amazon.com/babyregistry.
Best Wishes,
Shay Emmons and Alexander Ross

Over the afore-stated period of time, my moods have ranged from zombie to inexplicably sad zombie to ecstatic zombie, and my facebook profile has boasted such cheerful updates as:

Want to see my impression of old faithful?
BLEHEHHHHHHH!!!!

yeah it's 430 in the morning. so what.

Morning sickness: Getting up at 3am to puke, actually puking this time, then standing up and hitting your head on the wall and thus turning off the light
The bright side: I was on my way out anyway...

The morning sickness is worse than I could ever have imagined. It’s like having the worst motion sickness of your life, while also having contracted dysentery and something that makes you really constipated. At all hours, every day. In my failure to keep any food or liquids down for several days, Helen took me to the emergency room, where, through spinning vision and distorted hearing I learned my vitals were dangerously out of whack. Severely dehydrated, heart racing, blood pressure plummeting, and plagued with a urine infection, I mustered all my excitement for the ultrasound. I got to see the heartbeat! But it was really about the size of a pinpoint, so not really worth printing an image. You wouldn't be able to see it without a technician reminding you where it is in all the black and grey jumble of uterus and such.
It’s incredible how many people come out of the woodwork to give you advice on parenting.